In my life, I have lost my father, my sister, and, as of today, three years ago, my husband Matt, as well as two children, Evangeline and Lincoln. Over the last few years, I have thought a great deal about sorrow—and, more importantly, I have lived with it.

One day, while sitting in church, I had an idea for a painting. I can’t recall who mentioned it or in what context, but the word “sorrow” surfaced in my mind and refused to leave. I’d never thought about applying the concept of sorrow to canvas, and the idea of visualizing it intrigued me.

As soon as I got home, I went to my paints and pulled out the brightest colors—yellow, pink, turquoise, green, and purple. Aren’t those the colors you associate with sorrow? No? Well, in my way of looking at the world, sorrow actually begins with joy.

The circumstances of life cover, muddle, and distort our joy. Even in extended periods of pain, grief, or sadness, we can still sense the joy around us. We can almost reach through the veil of sadness and feel it, though it often remains just out of reach.

To preserve our joy, we must continually work to keep the weight of sorrow from completely distorting it. Left unchecked, sorrow can obscure not only our joy but our sense of self as well.

With these thoughts in mind, I began mixing and pouring colors for the piece I titled "Sorrow." When I finished, I had just enough paint left to create another piece, which I called "Joy."

“Joy” is pure brightness and happiness—a radiant celebration of life. “Sorrow” is just as beautiful and bright, but I knew it had to be “messed up” to reflect a different kind of beauty.

To capture the essence of sorrow, I created small, dried puddles of resin to symbolize tears. I poured these onto a tarp, let them dry, and peeled them off the next day. These resin "tears" were placed over the canvas for “Sorrow,” layered with drips and swirls of alcohol inks. The inks darkened and distorted the vibrant colors beneath without fully obscuring them. Through the layers of resin and ink, you can still see glimpses of joy shining through—but they are altered.

The sweet and bitter truth is that joy and sorrow are inseparably woven together in our lives. You cannot fully appreciate the vividness of joy without its contrast to sorrow. For me, they don’t exist independently; they are intertwined, coexisting and shaping one another.

When you step back and see the interplay of joy and sorrow as a whole, it becomes something greater. Together, they create a different kind of beauty—one that is honest, profound, and uniquely human.